When parents get separated or divorced, they sometimes choose to continue parenting through a parallel method. It basically involves the parents keeping their distance from each other but having a normal relationship with their children.
In Australia, getting a divorce is an easy process. The ‘no-fault’ system for divorce they follow says that the reason for the divorce does not have to be disclosed. But the court does take a few months to grant the divorce.
Parallel Parenting Vs Coparenting
Co-parenting is when both parents share the responsibility of raising their children together. They discuss problems and come up with solutions together. The children have to follow similar rules in both houses.
Both parents attend school programs or any extra activities. Basically, both parents communicate a lot with each other for the upbringing of the children.
Meanwhile, in parallel parenting, the parents each have different roles and responsibilities. Parents try to stay away from each other and have minimum communication. Major decisions, like religion and school, might be agreed upon, but others are not.
Sometimes a family lawyer might assign tasks to each parent, so they do not argue. This is mainly done in cases where the divorce is due to domestic abuse or serious conflict.
How can your Children benefit from this?
Parallel parenting is a way to shield a child from harmful effects caused by conflicts between parents. In parallel parenting, children get to have both their parents in their life without being exposed to the harshness caused by their parent’s disputes. Though it might seem like a small thing, studies have proved that children have better outcomes when they spend time with both parents in a peaceful environment.
The benefits include:
- Less behavioural problems
- Higher self-esteem
- Less emotional problems
- Better performance at school
- Better relationship with family
Tips for Parallel Parenting Successfully
It can be hard when you decide to parallel parent with your ex. You might get overwhelmed when you have to make significant decisions. But here are some pointers so that everything is successful.
- Keep communication with your ex very minimal. If you have to talk, do it over email or message so that there is proof of the conversation.
- If you happen to get a harassing or threatening message, do not respond. The only communication should be about the upbringing of your children.
- Try not to go to school programs and events together. Make a parenting plan that clearly states who goes to what.
- Try not to control what goes on when your ex is in charge. Children understand that there are different rules in each house.
- Having a mediator will help you and your ex align your intentions and focus solely on the children.
Parallel Parenting is a great solution for cases where the divorce was due to abuse or significant conflict. Both parents each get to spend time with the children but do not have to communicate with each other. Family lawyers in Brisbane Northside can help them come up with a plan to care for their children.
Children should get to spend time with both parents as they grow up. It helps them in numerous ways.
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